Control vs Chaos
Stoicism for Recruiters – or How to stay sane in a world of Deadlines, Offers, and Ghosting
In recruiting, it often feels like we're responsible for everything - from the hire itself to the hiring manager’s mood.
But the truth is, some things are simply out of our control.
This piece is about the Stoic principle of the dichotomy of control - and how it can become your shield against burnout.
Less anxiety. More clarity. Finally focusing on what’s truly up to you.
🎯 Control vs Chaos
Stoicism for recruiters - or how to stay sane in a world of deadlines, offers, and ghosting.
We can’t force a candidate to reply.
We can’t make the hiring manager move faster.
We can’t read anyone’s mind.
But what we can do – is stay sane.
One principle that keeps me grounded when things spiral is the dichotomy of control.
It’s a Stoic approach that’s over 2,000 years old – and still works better than some modern CRMs.
💡 What is the Dichotomy of Control?
"Some things are up to us, and some are not.
Up to us are our judgments, impulses, desires, and aversions.
Not up to us: our body, possessions, reputation, position…"
– Epictetus, Enchiridion, Chapter 1
In recruiting:
✅ What we CAN control:
How we write job descriptions
How we communicate with candidates
How we prepare the hiring manager
How we run interviews
How we analyze the funnel
❌ What we CAN’T control:
How many people apply
Whether candidates respond
How fast the hiring manager gives feedback
Whether the candidate accepts the offer
Whether the market is in our favor
🧠 What does it look like in practice?
📍Scenario 1: “The candidate ghosted after 3 rounds”
❌ Not in our control: their decision
✅ In our control: transparent process, consistent communication, expectation management
📍Scenario 2: “The hiring manager disappeared again”
❌ Not in our control: their internal priorities
✅ In our control: clear collaboration agreements, regular syncs, data to support decisions
📍Scenario 3: “We’re falling behind on deadlines”
❌ Not in our control: market speed
✅ In our control: how we forecast, prioritize, and communicate risks
📈 Why does this matter?
🔹 Less burnout – because you're not stuck in frustration over what’s out of your hands
🔹 Better decisions – because your energy goes into action, not drama
🔹 More influence – because you're no longer a victim of chaos, but a partner with clarity
🛠 How to apply this principle:
Make a list of 5 things that frustrate or drain you right now
Color-code them: green = in your control, red = not
Focus only on the green – let the red go, or address it with your team
Revisit this list weekly and update as needed
Recruiting isn’t about controlling everything. It’s about clarity - knowing where your influence lies.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is admit:
“I’ve done everything I could. The rest is not mine to carry.”
That’s not weakness – it’s strength.
🧩 By the way, this isn’t just theory.
I use this principle as a core part of my trainings and courses.
In fact, on June 26 we’re launching a new Interview Expert course (🇺🇦 only for now), where we:
– Define what recruiters really control in the interview process
– Learn how to influence what’s outside our control – through structure, scripts, questions, and collaboration with hiring managers
Because systems thinking starts with understanding your leverage.
📩 Want to join or learn more? 🇺🇦 https://rist.expert/interview-expert